Whinge

Okay, I have to admit, sometimes I do feel the need to have a bit of a whinge. Only if it’s 100% justifiable, mind. Today, I think I am justified appropriately. Correction: I know I am justified. Your view may vary, should you decide to read on.

Just a few days ago, I happened to be out in our older motor. We’re so middle class, innit. It’s another hidously un-PC SUV, I’m ashamed to have to tell you. That it’s a Ford Kuga makes it slightly less shameful, at least in my head, where I still see the trusty old Ford as a veritable car of the people. Actually, I think that’s the Volkswagen, although Henry may have thought otherwise, as long as it’s black.

There I am, approaching said motor, pressing the unlock button on the key fob. The car lights up like a Christmas tree and the mirrors fold out. It’s quite a nice feature, especially if you’re in a parked in a dark spot and can’t quite remember where you left the beast. However, one of the wannabe Christmas lights was blown. The offside, front parking light. It’s low down in a cluster, wedged between the fog light and the indicator light. Just like this one:

The sharp-eyed among you will have possibly spotted that there are no screws visible, and you may well have deduced that this part cannot be easily removed to gain access to replace the lamp. Fear not, Goooooogle and Youtube soon offered up the ‘how to’. It entailed removing half a dozen screws and a few plastic peg thingummies from the wheel arch, so that the liner could be pulled away allowing just enough access to reach in to the lamp holder assembly, assuming your arms are long enough and skinny enough, like yours truly’s. Not exactly easy, or comfortable, but actually rather pointless as I simply could not manage to extract the lamp itself from the housing. I swore quite a lot. You would have done the same.

Now, being a reasonable sort of bloke, I figured I must have done something silly, so I returned to that Internet and double checked. This time, I managed to locate the Ford Kuga Manual, in which I was rather delighted (by which I mean flabbergasted, if not right royally pissed off) to find this little nugget of information:

Sharp-eyed again, or simply able to read. Whatever. Let me make it 100% clear. “The position and direction indicator bulbs are not serviceable items, see an authorized dealer if they fail.”

You have got to be F**ding kidding me. It’s a bloody Ford. A Ford with no simple means of replacing a blown lamp. The end of the world is nigh.

Yes, I know. First World problems, and all that.