Face(palm)

I know I have already mentioned one common practice here: namely, the riding of one’s scooter to take the rubbish to the dustbin lorry. A distance of 400 metres at most.

Let me describe this evening’s entertainment. I use this term loosely. You (well, I) have to laugh, really. I could just as easily have cried.

One of our neighbours – 5 or 6 doors down – gets his scooter out of the garage. It takes maybe 45 seconds to get it to fire up. [Here, I suggest you observe the diagram below.] He rides said unwilling-to-start scooter from point A to point B. Some 250 metres, at a push. (He is not struggling with a month’s worth of rubbish – just one small bag. He’s neither old, nor infirm.) Parks scooter at point B. Sits and plays with his mobile phone, of course. That’s what you’re thinking, right?

Does he bollocks… He proceeds to exercise. I kid you not. Exercise. He walks from point B to point C and back 3 times. That’s 3 times, folks, while awaiting the arrival of the dustbin lorry. Around 500 metres in total. Just let that sink in for a moment.

Face – and indeed – palm.

But, of course, it is impossible for me to point out the sheer lunacy of this, because that would mean a massive loss of face, and I’d end up being being beaten to a pulp (or shot) for having caused this monstrous visage misplacement. Thus, this chap will never get to experience that feeling of complete foolishness we all have had to endure at least once in our adult lives. I’d tell you mine, but then I really would have to kill you.